Inspiration and Motivation

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today.

I would hold you in my arms, I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide because it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this.



"Hurt" by Christine Aguilera had told the story of my life at one point. One point very recently. To this day I still listen to this song and think back to the old times where I once thought I had met "THE ONE." 2 and a half years I spent with this man, and to this day, I wouldnt have traded any of them for the world. They changed me as a person, I learned so many things from this, good and bad, and if it wasnt for him, I would not be the person I am today.
When he ended things with me, and I found out what he had all done behind my back, I thought my life was over. I didnt even know where to begin trying to pick things back up. I was broken, into millions of pieces, and I thought I was never getting up. I spent sleepless nights, crying, and asking God the same question: Why.
I didnt know why God wanted to see my suffer like this, and I would pray every night that God would give him back to me. It took me until just a few months to finally get my answer.
Just like the story, "People are sometimes put into your life for a reason, and sometimes for a season. Others are put there to last." With this man, he was put there for a reason, to help me understand how to love unconditionally, how to treat and respect another person, and how to ultimatley and genuinely care for another. It may have not been the picture perfect relationship. We had lots of bumpy roads and twists and turns, but all in all, I learned from this realtionship and grew. And changed.And today, I am a completley different person. Sronger, and Smarter. And if it wasnt for him, this change would not have happened.
I look back and realize what God did. And I thank him every chance I get, and I know that he has plans to prosper me, and not harm me. I walk by faith, not by sight.
I also wish that I could thank this man for everything, and apologize for all the hurt I caused him in our relationship. I was a terrible, mean person at one point. And I am not proud of half of my actions in that realationship, nor will I ever be. But I know we both learned from this, and grew into mature, adults.
I hope wherever he is, whatever he is doing, he is happy. and doing great. Because he completley deserves it. He is and always will be my first true love, and an amazing person. Always.

<3 Amanda